We all love to believe in loyalty. We believe in standing by people who’ve been with us through thick and thin. And in a perfect world, that’s exactly how it should be. But sometimes, loyalty turns into a trap—a slow bleed that drains you while you smile through the pain.
Starving your self before anybody else does is not a self-punishment. It’s to train your spirit, condition your heart, and prepare your mind to endure the tough choices life will force upon you.
Starve yourself before anyone else does—not because you’re weak, but because you must know the weight of hunger before the world feeds it to you without mercy. — Mukiibi Hamza Katende
The Weight You Choose vs. The Weight You’re Given
We live in a society where the norm is to “grind until you break.” But what if breaking early on your terms makes you stronger than breaking later when you have no choice?
I urge you to practice discipline before desperation teaches it to you the hard way. It’s like weightlifting: if you’ve trained to carry heavy loads, you’ll survive the unexpected burdens life drops on your shoulders.
I joined a startup of this guy (before he was my friend) when it was nothing more than an idea. We worked side by side, he used to promise me this and that, i used to spend nights working, doing his tasks sacrificing weekends, making sure that i put myself to use.
After a long period of stay with him, i started to notice that;
My contributions were downplayed.
Opportunities to grow were rerouted to others.
Wasn’t giving myself the time i needed to grow my skills
His relatives disrespected me etc
I let all these slide, thinking loyalty would make up for it. I didn’t speak up. I believed in our bond (now had become a friend) more than I believed in myself.
But eventually, I had to ask: What am I staying for? The answer wasn’t friendship. It wasn’t respect. It was a version of me that was afraid to face the unknown.
So I walked away. No drama. Just silence.
People think self-preservation is selfish. I think not knowing when to let go is the real betrayal
Cheryl Strayed
Why Self-Starvation Is a Skillset
When you starve yourself, you’re not giving up—you’re building inner muscles. You’re learning:
How to say no, even when your heart wants to say yes.
How to leave people who don’t see your value, even if they once did.
How to protect your boundaries without waiting for someone to violate them.
Think of it like fasting: the first few days are hard, but your body adapts. You become clearer, lighter, stronger. That’s what happens emotionally when you withdraw from toxic dynamics before they consume you.
What I Gained When I Walked Away
When I left that job—and that “friendship”—I was scared. I had no backup plan. But here’s what happened next:
I rediscovered my voice.
I built new networks, this time with people who saw me fully.
I started a new venture—on my own terms.
And the best part? I didn’t have to unlearn dependency. I’d already starved that need.
The Deeper Psychology Behind “Starve Yourself First”
Research in psychology shows that voluntary discomfort—whether through physical endurance, emotional detachment, or minimalist living—increases mental resilience.
According to Dr. Kelly McGonigal, a psychologist at Stanford University, “Choosing to suffer in a controlled way—like pushing through a workout or setting personal limits—trains the brain to handle real stress more effectively.”
if you build a life where you can sit with lack, you’ll never be crushed by it when it arrives uninvited. – Mukiibi Hamza Katende
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